


I'm sorry I can't be the perfect hyung you want me to be

by itzee



Series: me being sad [3]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Finished, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Like very short, Sad, Self-Harm, Short, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, idk what to add, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:41:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25612252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itzee/pseuds/itzee
Summary: "Jae-hyung?""Yeah?""How did you get those scars?"
Series: me being sad [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1832647
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	I'm sorry I can't be the perfect hyung you want me to be

"Jae-hyung?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you get those scars?"

That's how Wonpil found out about how much his hyung was hurting, and soon enough all of his other bandmates knew about it too, promising him to stay by his side no matter what and that that they will always try to help him, which is exactly what they did.

But it was difficult, for both Jae and his best friends, because they thought that he wouldn't do it again after the conversation they've had, and he thought that they wouldn't care anymore and run away as soon as they got the chance to, so imagine how shocked Sungjin was when he found his only hyung of the group in the bathroom, passed out, blood all over his legs and covering the floor.

After that, they watched him closely for a few months, throwing away everything he could use to hurt himself, and even convinced him to start going to therapy. So when Dowoon found his oldest hyung, a whole year after the incident, in their room crying and begging the youngest to help him, he started asking himself what they were doing wrong.

But as soon as he started going to therapy, he actually got better, probably because of the fact that his dongsaengs and manager were following him everywhere and that he couldn't hurt himself anymore.

He was getting better, so what was he doing at the rooftop of a random building at four in the morning, crying and shaking, as he asked God and his members to forgive him?

But that didn't matter because now, after apologizing to himself one more time, he finally found the peace he has been looking for this whole time.

To my members,

If you're reading this, it's probably that I finally had the guts to do it.

Please don't be sad, I'm in a much better place now, and don't be angry at yourselves either because it's all my fault, I've never wanted to get better because I know that I won't get better even if I tried to. So why even try to spend so much money on therapy and pills when it won't work?

Anyways, I don't want this to be a very long letter, but I just want you to know that I love you all so much, and that I'm so grateful for everything you've done to me, I don't think I'll ever be able to express my gratitude towards you. 

So yeah, one last time, I love you, and please don’t hurt too much because I'm not worth your suffering.

-Jae

**Author's Note:**

> i fucking hate life


End file.
